Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Truth Hurts


Saturday afternoon when I was sleeping on the ottoman, I heard Mom and Dad talking about how fat I was when I was a baby. They were going on and on about how funny I looked with my floppy ears and my chubby legs. I peered over at Wiley to see if he had heard what they were talking about but, thankfully, his eyes were closed . . . but was that just the faintest hint of a grin on his face? Could it be true? Was I fat and "un-shiba-like" when I was younger? I wanted to ask Wiley but I couldn't bear to hear the truth from HIM . . . he'd never let me live it down! He'd throw it in my face every time I sneered that his coloring isn't accepted by the AKC! I was driving myself SICK with worry so last night, when everyone was asleep, I feverishly searched through all of Mom and Dad's things and I found this despicable photo. Mom and Dad were right . . . I was fat! I did have short, stubby legs. My ears WEREN'T pricked! I didn't even look like a shiba! I looked like one of those dirty bear cubs we saw playing with Daddy's grill on the deck. ME! FABULOUS ME! A bear cub! How could this be?!?!?! I hope my tail was at least curled properly. I'm almost relieved that I can't see it in this photo. I don't think I could handle it. -Fievel

4 comments:

Hazel said...

I don't think you look like a bear cub. I actually think you look kinda cute, for a dog.
Let's face it, we are all a little alien like when we are babies but some of us are cuter then others. I fall into the "cuter then" others catagory myself.
Don't worry about it Fievel, a bear cub you were not. Chubby with stubby legs, yeah but, again for a dog, not too shabby.
Love,
Hazel

Luna said...

Iwas saving this little piece of information for the next time you bullied me into a corner. Before you came along Wiley and I were the best of friends. "A handome couple" they would say. Then you showed up. Wiley and I would laugh for hours at your physique. Look at that picture again Fievel, Wiley is laughing at you there. Then you turned Wiley against me. All I have now is the memory of your fat little face to bring me comfort. And by the way, don't kidd yourself. You aint so slim now. Those snacks are going straight to your thighs.
Luna

Hazel said...

I must say that that big wench Luna is quite the nasty bisotch!!!
I am the superior one here, lets face it CATS RULE AND DOGS DROOL!!!
And even I kept the chop breaking down to a minimum. I sort of felt bad saying the snide "chubby with stubby legs" remark. Just a little bit bad because I am a regal cat and so above these dogs.
No wonder Wiley left that wench in the dust. She is NASSSSSTTTTTTYYYY.

Luna said...

Does Claudia know about your filthy mouth? Listen up Hazelnut, my words are tame compared to the treatment I receive from that fat little bitch (and by "bitch" I mean female dog). Constant tormenting. Constant bullying... As they say, Every dog has it's day. Looks like Fievel's about to get hers...
And PS I live with a cat. And that my friend, is a bitch. And by bitch, I mean Bitch.